The ‘soundtrack’ to a wasted life, – and one way or another, – a life spent wasted, – mostly.

In the mid-80’s I was very much into mixing, as were a few of my friends, some of them, not me, also became members of the DMC, Disco Mix Club, so we would regularly attend the yearly, World DJ mixing Championships throughout the 80’s. I bought the obligatory 2x Technics 1210 MkII turntables and a Numark DM1700T very early on, with my first pay packets, still have the receipts, and still have one Technics 1210 mkII, although the original pair were sold many years ago. I had around 2,000 records at one point, but now, probably no more than around 350+, although I do still buy the occasional piece of vinyl. Many people/friends/associates in the local area who were interested in mixing at the time, – [usually an ego driven interest btw, you know, to impress others.., huh, the male-ego.., something I never really developed] – got their first taste of ‘cueing up’ and ‘beat matching’ in the front box-room of my parents family home, some went on to own their own record labels, I even did an ‘opening set’ for a friend’s younger brother, at his first performance/venue, who went on to tour the world DJ’ing, – [god I hate that term, and also the word ‘Rave’ – Jimmy Savile was a DJ, and the word ‘Rave’ just got so overused and misused once the term became mainstream, – personally, now I just find the term rather cheap and cringe-worthy – it worked well for the last couple of years of the late 80’s, and it suited the West Indian events of the 50’s and 60’s, but true Rave culture died off pretty sharpish during the early 90’s.., but that is just my opinion, as someone who was truly in the thick of it]. – Me doing a ‘set’ was a rare occurrence, due to my lack of confidence, – which I was always quite open about, even back then, – [although I really enjoyed mixing in a domestic setting, especially after a heavy night out, back at someone else’s house, – usually we’d stop off at my parents house on the way back home in the early morning, and I’d grab a case of records while my mates waited in the back garden. My mother would usually make everyone tea and coffee, and take it out to the old pub bench we had in the garden, – and she’d always say, – “I won’t look at you, if you don’t look at me.” – because she knew all my friends were wide-eyed and off their faces, and she was from that generation of ladies who always had their hair rolled up with curlers early every morning.]. – Personally, I was just much more interested in the culture and the music, but not performing.., although I was considered very good at mixing at the time, better than most apparently, – [probably the autism] – but I wasn’t seeking validation.., besides, I’d rather be out on the floor if I were in a club, buzzing, rushing and rocking out, you know.., ‘letting go’. – I had plenty of imported Electro, Hip-Hop and vintage Funk from the US – [courtesy of Groove Records and Hitman Records, both located in Soho] – along with, UK Punk and Post-Punk, 70’s Dub, 60’s Funk, early Electronica, etc, [often sourced from record dealers such as Reckless Records, Sister Ray, Selectadisc, etc, – also ALL located around Soho] – and once the whole London Acid/Breakbeat scene came along, me and my ‘associates’ were right there, ready to jump straight onto ‘that’ train.

Regular haunts were, — The Wag Club – Wardour Street, The Dungeons – Lea Bridge Road, Labyrinth 2000AD – Dalston Lane, The Nuthouse – Crowland Road, and Telepathy – Marshgate Lane.

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Like so many others who just started out by mixing vinyl, but ultimately become obsessed with music/soundscapes/the texture of sound, etc.., it was the counter-culture, my eclectic record collection.., and drugs, that soon compelled me, in my late teens, to become absolutely obsessed with audio production, audio engineering, etc.., regarding all aspects of ‘Electronica’ production, – but only ever as a hobby, a very expensive hobby, but just right for someone with my brand of autism. – But like everything I have approached creatively throughout my life..,

… “Study hard what interests you the most, in the most undisciplined, irreverent and original manner possible.”

– Richard Feynman

For me, the journey is what’s most important, and I always strive to achieve my desired results upon that journey using the ‘path of least resistance’, – [essentially utilizing what some might call a ‘Punk’ approach to art/creation] – I have no destination in mind, I’m not about finishing projects, or seeking adulation for my work. – [I don’t consider myself talented, not at all, but I am still quite the perfectionist, most INFJ types are, so I’m always very particular about what kind of sound I’m after, but I lack the drive/ego to make the hobby anything more serious than it actually is.., – still, I do consider myself to have an ear for what is good, and others always seemed to be really interested in what I was listening to, or playing] – When I’m being creative, especially with audio/sound, I am not trying to make the impermanent permanent. – Personally, my – Therapy Cell™ – is just a very expensive form of escapism.., and when I get something going that I like, in that moment, it just becomes a kind of ‘sonic mantra’, something to meditate on, – in isolation, – and ultimately something to get lost in…

– Currently, in 2026, it is almost impossible for me to relax enough to get into that creative ‘flow state’ of mind, as being a 24/7 carer for my mother means I have to be constantly on the alert.., but that’s just me being a hyper-sensitive type, resulting in me being too plugged into her pain and emotions, etc.. – Still, maybe in the future I’ll get a few years where I can just lock myself away, and get into that full-on, mad professor mode. I still do a lot of preparation work, – learning new pieces of gear, creating samples, practicing various synthesis techniques, honing my production skills with regards to using compression, equalization, reverb, delays, modulation effects, etc.., I just need to be able to switch off for long enough from everything else to really dig in and focus. – Also, giving up weed an coming off the opioids is still something I’m getting used to, from a creative, ‘in the moment’ perspective.

[added/updated – 2024/25/26]