Meet my anxiety,.. it doesn’t have a gender, it doesn’t have a name or a monstrous face, and most importantly, it doesn’t represent anything negative. You see, I have learnt to visualize my anxiety as it is shown above, essentially to replace the negative images and memories I often experience when feeling anxious, – or depressed, – because I understand that not only was I born anxious, – due partly to the fact that my mother had been prescribed large doses of Diazepam during the last six months that she carried me inside her, – but also, that same anxiety will undoubtedly be accompanying me to my grave.
Accepting my anxiety was a breakthrough period for me, in fact I still remember the feeling of utter relief, and within a month I had shed around 60% of the shit that comes with it, it was, as if it had finally come of age and no longer was it going to be a burden to me, no longer was I going to be spending every waking moment of my existence fighting it, – the time had finally come for me to,.. just let go.
Of course, it’s there all the time, in the background, whistling away like white noise, but it no longer controls me, I control it, I’ve given it form, I’ve given it peace, I accept it, and in a strange way I cherish it for I wouldn’t be the same high empathy, overly considerate, uber understanding individual I am today if I hadn’t suffered so much, and for so long.
I feel so dearly for anyone affected by the negative effects of anxiety, I really do, whenever I read of a bloggers anguish and hellish experiences, all those emotions come flooding back, and I truly wish I could just cast a spell there and then and release that individual from the torment they feel within, but I can’t… no one can.
Only you can control yourself, and that means, diet, sleep, exercise, meditation, breathing exercises, medications where and when required, high-empathy company, and most of all, the will to sacrifice ALL of the vices you like and love, but know to be so utterly detrimental to your state of mind and well being. – Many substances and foods trigger anxiety, and eliminating ALL these is essential, there’s no meeting anxiety halfway, it’s ALL or nothing, and I assure you I speak from experience.
My life is so streamlined now I doubt many people would even want to live the way I do, but I’m at peace with myself now and couldn’t be happier. Don’t get me wrong, I still get anxious, but I’m prepared, and I no longer give it enough fuel for it to ever become a major problem ever again.
I’m not here to make suggestions, I’m just telling you that it can, does, and will get better, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner the transformation will occur.
Stop tortouring yourselves by battling, fighting and beating your anxiety, – or depression for that matter, – and try tolerating it, or even loving it, just like you’d like it to love you, – because it is you!
8 thoughts on “disarming my anxiety”
Good post, I also struggle a lot with my anxiety, maybe I should try to accept it! If you want to check my blog about it, it’s called Tabula Rasa
And yes, there’s no harm in trying different approaches to dealing with anxiety. Most people seem intent on cutting it out like a tumour, but being more on the outside now, and looking in, that seems like unnecessary overkill.
Checked your blog, following, look forward to reading more.
Be well, take care.
This is incredible! I’ve met a lot of people with anxiety but I rarely find people who respond to it the way I do: by using it to channel my love and caring towards others. It’s refreshing to find someone who feels the same way
Thank you so much.
And yes, I totally agree with your approach to channeling the negative into something positive.
I know exactly what you mean, I hate to think of anyone going through anxiety. It’s lovely to hear you are managing it and feel more at ease xxx
Thank you so much for your kind words. Be well and take care of yourselves.
Much love, E ❤